Nipplerockian War Correspondent Spends Entire Day Embedded With Wrong Side

Aspasia—In what editors are calling “a learning experience,” The Nipplerockian’s war correspondent returned from the front this week after spending an entire day embedded with what he believed to be the coalition, but which was in fact Chiraq.

“I thought it was odd that everyone was so relaxed,” he said. “I also thought it was odd that they kept giving me a tour of a vault I was supposed to be attacking.”

The correspondent, who travelled to the front by rail from Pavia Central, says he introduced himself to the first group of fighters he met and spent several hours telling them about his personal contributions to the coalition’s war effort, including a number of bunkers he had helped design.

“They were very nice about it,” he said. “They kept asking follow-up questions. Very specific ones. Where the bunkers were. How many entrances they had. Looking back, that should have been a sign.”

The mistake was discovered only at the end of the day, when the correspondent thanked his hosts “for everything the Dawn Guard Pact is doing for this server” and was met with a long silence.

Despite the confusion, editors say the trip produced excellent material. “He got some of the best interviews of the war,” said the editor. “They just happen to be with the enemy. Whose enemy, we’re not sure. We haven’t worked out whose side we’re on either.”

The correspondent has since been sent back to the front with a map, a compass and a sign around his neck reading “PRESS. PLEASE TELL ME WHICH SIDE YOU ARE.”

At press time, he had been spotted on the Westhelm side, telling coalition fighters how much he had enjoyed his tour of the Aspasian vault.