Chiraq Open Letter Offers Enemies “Off-Ramp,” Names Wiki As Official Scorekeeper

Chiraq—In an open letter published this week under the title “Rome fell in a Day, what are you still fighting for?”, Chiraq’s self-styled Oracle invited every nation fighting against it to take what the letter called an “off-ramp”: declare neutrality, close their borders to coalition staging and go home.

The letter recounts how Chiraq broke SPQR’s vault on 17 October in a single morning and took the Sol nether portal, and argues that the war against SPQR ended that day. “What has come since,” it says, “has been your war, not theirs.”

Diplomats said the letter was most notable for treating CivWiki as an official source. “The wiki is keeping the score,” it states, before giving a pearl count of 18 to 10 in Chiraq’s favour.

Within an hour of publication, editors on both sides had begun revising the count. By Friday afternoon the page had been edited 41 times, protected twice and briefly listed the score as “yes.” “The front line is no longer in Aspasia,” said one wiki editor. “It’s in the edit history.”

The letter addresses each coalition member in turn, including the Dawn Guard Pact, WYVERN and two independent nations, and offers each the same terms. Several recipients said they appreciated the personal touch. “It’s nice to be named,” said one coalition diplomat. “Most threats these days are so generic.”

It closes with a long quotation warning that retaliation “may not be swift, but it will be guaranteed, prolonged, and extremely gratuitous,” attributed only to “Wisdom lost to time.” Historians have so far been unable to identify the author, and confirm that the wisdom remains lost.

The off-ramp has so far seen little traffic. Within a day of the letter, Benelux and Nara had both joined the war against Chiraq, leading transport officials to conclude that the sign may have been installed facing the wrong way.

At press time, the scoreboard read 18 to 10, then 19 to 10, then “disputed.”