Zirakdum Secedes, Becomes Protectorate, Stops Being Protectorate, All Before Siege Finishes Loading

Zirakdum—In a period of political change that observers called “extremely quick,” Zirakdum left the Lyrean Commonwealth, became a protectorate of Yoahtl and stopped being a protectorate of Yoahtl, all before the resulting siege had finished loading its chunks.

According to a timeline pieced together by this newspaper, Zirakdum announced its secession shortly after lunch. Within minutes, Pavia and other Lyrean states declared the move a hostile act and began marching toward the walls. By the time the first siege ladder rendered, Yoahtl had already backed out of the arrangement.

“By the time I logged in to defend the walls, we were already back to being whatever we were before,” said one resident, standing on the battlements in full armour. “I’m not sure who I’m defending against. Possibly myself. Possibly a previous version of Zirakdum.”

Political scientists say the episode may set a record for the shortest protectorate in Civ history. “It lasted about as long as it takes to read the word ‘protectorate,’” said one researcher. “Which, to be fair, is quite a long word.”

The Lyrean Commonwealth, a union of nation-states around the Lyrean Sea with a central government in Pavia-Griffin, said it remained committed to neutrality, regional cooperation and “figuring out what just happened.”

Pavia, which had already mobilised, said it would continue the siege “on principle, and because we already brought the ladders.” Pavian officials stressed that the ladders were expensive and that it would be “disrespectful to the ladders” to send them home unused.

Inside the walls, residents say morale is high but confusion is higher. Several citizens have reportedly applied for passports from all three of Zirakdum’s recent governments, just in case.

At press time, Zirakdum had issued a statement clarifying its status, which by the time it was published was out of date.