Zorweth Colonists Report Oxygen Low, Morale High, Claim Size Completely Unaffected

Zorweth—Settlers on Zorweth, the hostile alien shard released in June, filed their monthly report Friday, noting that oxygen supplies remained critically low but that the size of their land claim had not been affected at all.

“We can’t breathe, but look how much of it is ours,” said one colonist, gesturing through a fogged helmet at several thousand blocks of territory claimed on behalf of the Meridiem Entente, which holds the largest claim on the shard, ahead of Norlund and the Stardust Crusaders.

The report lists oxygen reserves as “bad,” food reserves as “fine,” and the claim as “enormous, beautiful, and very well drawn.” A section on survival rates was left blank, with a note reading “see claim size.”

Scientists at the colony say the two facts are not related. “The atmosphere is unsurvivable, but the borders are really holding up,” said the colony’s chief researcher. “No one has crossed them in weeks. To be fair, no one has done anything in weeks. We are mostly lying down to save air.”

Life on the shard has improved since 10 September, when CivMC players finished researching rockets and pioneers stranded on Zorweth were finally able to fly home. Many did. Those who stayed say they did so out of loyalty, patriotism and, in several cases, an inability to find the rocket.

Other nations have also planted flags on the planet. One rival colony has proposed a joint oxygen-sharing treaty, which the Entente says it is “open to,” provided the treaty does not affect the size of the claim.

“People ask me if it was worth it,” said a settler who has been on the shard since launch day. “I tell them: I have not breathed properly since June, but I own a crater. Back home I didn’t own anything. Here I own a crater the size of a small country.”

At press time, the colony had requested an emergency resupply of oxygen and a second, larger flag.